Have you also had the realization that the more you seek/search/study/ponder, the less you are sure of? What are the things we can count on to be unchanging? I don't know if there is anything that is unchanging in this entire universe. Just when I feel like I've come to an understanding of some thing/idea, there comes a challenge to it--either causing mental chaos or if I'm lucky, a deeper understanding.
I often think that artists must feel this way about their earlier works. Painters/writers/poets etc--do they look with incredulity at their past efforts and remember the corresponding circumstances of their lives? Do they cringe and discount the work as rubbish, or embrace those earlier steps as integral in the process of artistic maturation? All of life is programmed to evolve--we spiral upwards gaining experience--cultivating wisdom--learning to love ourselves and others. Every moment is a step in the direction of our ending state of oneness which is also apparently our beginning state. You can say there is perfection in every step. I am perfect in my knowledge of nothing.
We rely so much on progress don't we? Sometimes I feel like I'll never gain enough wisdom in this lifetime. What can I do? Give up the search? Cease participating in the upward movement of my being? It really helps to have other seekers--those relentless questioners--in your life. Wherever possible, spend time with those who continually refine their perspectives. You will also do so. There will always be those who are at an earlier stage of "awakening" than we are--those at our own--and those that are beyond our level of understanding .
A Big No-No--do not fall into the trap of disdain for those who have not progressed as far. We were once there--perhaps super recently. Just like recently reformed smokers, those who've just stepped up can be the ones with the least amount of tolerance. It is important to deal with care and compassion for those with less than we have, love those who are our peers, and give gratitude to those who are our teachers blazing the path for us. We must see everyone as a partner in this collective push upwards, and value their contributions. This is an integral way of living.
A fact is only so in a limited set of circumstances-- very little stands up to universal scrutiny. A fact, is in fact, not so factual. I am becoming oddly content to profess my knowledge of nothing, almost..
