Waiting at
the bus stop this morning was a woman I had never seen before. She engaged me with a
statement about how the bus is never on time, and people have to be someplace
at a certain time and cannot count on the bus system. My knee jerk response was
to say that the bus is usually late. As the brief conversation ended I thought
about the exchange and realized, although I noticed the timing of the bus--on
schedule, early, or late, it really never bothered me. It never felt like a
complaint inside me until it emerged, prompted by this "Small talk".
So much of
our small talk IS really small. Be it
the weather or traffic, our local sports team or all of the little inanities of life--we seem to latch
on to those little things we can agree upon--a casual bonding--woven in shared
complaint. Especially with persons who are strangers to us, the icebreaker is
many times "this bus is always late".
I wonder
how to change this. I have been noticing this tendency for a while. Harmless?
Maybe, but the quality of our interactions combine to form the background hum
of our daily life. Every little statement of how life is less-than, notches the field with a little disharmony. Instead of playing the complaint game, can we find other
ways to connect with others? Can we find a positive statement when handed a
downer? Perhaps we can all pay a little more attention to what we put out into
the world.
This partly sunny morning was beautiful--the air fresh and the birds singing. And the wait
was not long at the bus stop--#25 arrived right on time.
